Flattered You're Reading

Insomnia

Lying awake in bed late at night
I stare out the window at a star on the navy skyboard
and think:
I would like to explode out my window
shot like a naked spring into the dark carols
of early morning air.

I don't know who I would meet
or what I would do,
and perhaps once outside
i would recognize the confinements of this fantasy:
it is slightly cold and i haven't brought a jacket;
the wind is strong and it stinks of CO2;
the people I meet here are callous and unafraid
and though they are exceedingly loyal
I may not be on that side of the fence.

Still, these thoughts
don't daunt me.
I refuse to focus on the possible risks
when the BENEFITS I stand reaping
will change the face
of God itself.

Lying awake in bed late at night
how strange it is to have such desires! to be struck
by such intangible fantasies, when

the room is
so peaceful
the lighting
just right
the comforter
nurturing me
like a lover
or a mom.